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Jan 27, 2015 | Vote0 0
Decisions, decisions … thank goodness for his and her bread
Stonemill
Rick Madonik,Toronto StarStonemill takes the guesswork out of bread selection.
Hamilton SpectatorBy Sheryl Nadler
So you're in the grocery store, surrounded by baked goods, and you just … you just don't know.
What if you make the wrong decision? What if you buy the wrong bread? Will it have all the daily nutrients you need? Will its ingredients include the stuff of old yoga mats? Will it be mild and feminine enough for your delicate constitution?
What if the flavour of the bread is too strong? Too manly and powerful? What will happen? Will you grow facial hair and begin to yearn for — gasp — beer and football? Or worse yet, what if you buy bread that's too mild and feminine for your husband? What will he say???
You collapse, of course. Right there in the bread section, between the peanut-free, prepackaged, appropriately labelled school snacks and the high-protein pita bread whose packaging depicts a woman running. So you know it's for women who work out … y'know … cause of the running lady and all.
But the bread selection is too much. It's too much thinking, too much decision-making for your teensy, dainty woman brain. The bags aren't even decorated with little cartoon characters or gender-appropriate colours that signal which loaf is right for you based on whether or not your were born with a vagina. HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW???
You're not a clairvoyant, a miracle worker or even a big-brained man with a penis. It's not right to make you guess. The bakers should consider your limitations and package their products accordingly, like the nice people who make the pita and school snacks.
Well guess what? A bread company has now come along to help you out.
Yes, Toronto-based Stonemill Bakehouse, whose products I've bought umpteen million times based solely on their ingredients, has just slapped us in the face with their new "gender appropriate" packaging. Brown for boys, and pink for girls. Of course.
The Women's Wellbeing Hemp & Quinoa Bread in the bag with the girlie pink label is being pitched as high protein and fibre, low fat and low calorie. The Men's Wellbeing Barley & Rye Bread in the bag with the manly brown label makes me think of beer and football. And all is right in the world.
"Stonemill Bakehouse, a Toronto-based bakery, is selling 'milder,' 'light-textured' hemp and quinoa bread stuffed with vitamin D and calcium and packaged in a pink-accented bag for women. A matching 'hearty' barley and rye version with protein and fibre is targeted at men," reports the Toronto Star.
To be fair, I didn't see the word "mild" used anywhere in the company's description of their new bread on their website, but then I haven't seen an official news release, either.
I dunno. I know a lot of women. Do you know a lot of women? You probably do. In describing myself, I would use the words neurotic, grumpy, cheerful like a bowl of sunshine, covered in dog hair, etc. But mild? Ya, I'm not mild. And neither are most of the women I know. Moreover, who aspires to be mild? Are men expected to aspire to be mild? Why are women expected to be mild? Or aspire to be mild? Why are we expected to buy bread packaged in pink?
The biggest problem here is my personal boycott list of companies is getting grumpy-old-man long and every day seems to bring a new one. Now the baked goods section? It's just not right.
Oh, just give me a generic pumpernickel bread any day, I guess. And genius gender marketers, please stay out of the cookie aisle.HIS
Decisions, decisions … thank goodness for his and her bread
Stonemill
Rick Madonik,Toronto StarStonemill takes the guesswork out of bread selection.
Hamilton SpectatorBy Sheryl Nadler
So you're in the grocery store, surrounded by baked goods, and you just … you just don't know.
What if you make the wrong decision? What if you buy the wrong bread? Will it have all the daily nutrients you need? Will its ingredients include the stuff of old yoga mats? Will it be mild and feminine enough for your delicate constitution?
What if the flavour of the bread is too strong? Too manly and powerful? What will happen? Will you grow facial hair and begin to yearn for — gasp — beer and football? Or worse yet, what if you buy bread that's too mild and feminine for your husband? What will he say???
You collapse, of course. Right there in the bread section, between the peanut-free, prepackaged, appropriately labelled school snacks and the high-protein pita bread whose packaging depicts a woman running. So you know it's for women who work out … y'know … cause of the running lady and all.
But the bread selection is too much. It's too much thinking, too much decision-making for your teensy, dainty woman brain. The bags aren't even decorated with little cartoon characters or gender-appropriate colours that signal which loaf is right for you based on whether or not your were born with a vagina. HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW???
You're not a clairvoyant, a miracle worker or even a big-brained man with a penis. It's not right to make you guess. The bakers should consider your limitations and package their products accordingly, like the nice people who make the pita and school snacks.
Well guess what? A bread company has now come along to help you out.
Yes, Toronto-based Stonemill Bakehouse, whose products I've bought umpteen million times based solely on their ingredients, has just slapped us in the face with their new "gender appropriate" packaging. Brown for boys, and pink for girls. Of course.
The Women's Wellbeing Hemp & Quinoa Bread in the bag with the girlie pink label is being pitched as high protein and fibre, low fat and low calorie. The Men's Wellbeing Barley & Rye Bread in the bag with the manly brown label makes me think of beer and football. And all is right in the world.
"Stonemill Bakehouse, a Toronto-based bakery, is selling 'milder,' 'light-textured' hemp and quinoa bread stuffed with vitamin D and calcium and packaged in a pink-accented bag for women. A matching 'hearty' barley and rye version with protein and fibre is targeted at men," reports the Toronto Star.
To be fair, I didn't see the word "mild" used anywhere in the company's description of their new bread on their website, but then I haven't seen an official news release, either.
I dunno. I know a lot of women. Do you know a lot of women? You probably do. In describing myself, I would use the words neurotic, grumpy, cheerful like a bowl of sunshine, covered in dog hair, etc. But mild? Ya, I'm not mild. And neither are most of the women I know. Moreover, who aspires to be mild? Are men expected to aspire to be mild? Why are women expected to be mild? Or aspire to be mild? Why are we expected to buy bread packaged in pink?
The biggest problem here is my personal boycott list of companies is getting grumpy-old-man long and every day seems to bring a new one. Now the baked goods section? It's just not right.
Oh, just give me a generic pumpernickel bread any day, I guess. And genius gender marketers, please stay out of the cookie aisle.HIS